


Joker x Reader - The Rat and the Cat

by TheJokersEnigma



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Tumblr request, joker and cat, joker x reader - Freeform, mention of violence, reader's cat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 07:24:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14950205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheJokersEnigma/pseuds/TheJokersEnigma
Summary: Ok, so this was a request I got quite a while a go, I’m sorry it took me so long to get to! :SI love your Joker stories so much, thank you for writing them :) if you’re not too busy then I’ll just leave a one shot idea: Joker finds out the reader brought home a cat and he gets mad, saying he’s not a cat person but he can’t get rid of it cuz of the reader. He acts like he hates the cat but he secretly pets and cuddles it when he’s trying to relax a little.





	Joker x Reader - The Rat and the Cat

The Joker’s familiar snarl curled his lips as he reached for the pistol where it sat in the holster at his side, his eyes ever leaving the fiend in front of him. The insult, the gall of this enemy was beyond anything he’d ever dealt with before. [Y/N] might like them, might try to convince him to give them a second chance, but that was a laughable hope of hers. They’d gone too far this time. He’d call it disrespect, but it felt worse than that.

J aimed his revolver at his own chair where his opponent insolently sat behind his desk in his office. “Bet you didn’t see that coming, did you?” The Joker taunted with a slow, humourless grin stretching his features. “9 lives. 9 bullets.” He growled, “Seems a lot,” He mused, “but it’ll be worth it…”

The cat, who [Y/N] had apparently named Nyx, didn’t seem at all bothered by the loaded weapon now aimed at her head, instead, just regarded J with a lazy, almost bored, expression over the muzzle of the gun, her tail curled around her feet as she sat in the centre of the chair, the end flicking slightly as she watched him.

This was the final insult. The creature had plagued J ever since [Y/N] had decided to bring it home a few weeks ago, insisting to keep it. He knew she would only whine at him about it for months, hold it over his head, so he’d allowed her to keep it if only to get one annoying voice out of his head. Now, however, he’d rather taking [Y/N]’s constant complaining then have this creature constantly under his feet trying to trip him up, howling at him, scratching up his documents and generally just always being _there._

J had tried several times to give the brute a well-aimed kick, but he’d always ended up with its teeth and claws embedded in his skin and then [Y/N] coming to its rescue, carrying it away and cooing at it like a baby. J growled out loud at the memory, clicking the safety of his gun. “Time for an extended cat nap…” He muttered darkly, staring back at the creature’s unblinking amber eyes.

“J!” The familiar voice cried from the doorway of the office. J growled in frustration. Bad timing. He rolled his neck in annoyance as he reluctantly dropped the gun. “What are you doing?!” [Y/N] demanded, as she strode quickly into his office.

“Pest control, doll.” He growled moodily, glaring at the cat who still hadn’t moved despite the chance it had been given thanks to [Y/N].

“God, I just can’t let that cat out of my sight without you making an attempt on her life, can I?!” [Y/N] muttered angrily, storming past J to scoop up the bundle of flue into her arms, the creature immediately starting to purr as it rubbed its cheek into [Y/N]’s chest, bumping her jaw affectionately with the top of its head. J grumbled under his breath as he threw his gun down onto the desk, making his way round to his and dropping sulkily down into it as [Y/N] headed for the door with his nemesis.

“Keep that thing outta my office if you don’t want a custom-made scarf, dolly.” J muttered darkly after her.

“If you gave her a change, you might actually like her, J!” [Y/N] sang as she left, not bothering to look back at him as she now left again, the despicable creature staring over her shoulder with its bright eyes at J. That single parting look of triumphant was enough to make J ground his teeth together.

He would find a way to skin that creature.

And it would be alive when he did.

* * *

J watched the man drop to the floor behind his desk, teasingly blowing on the end of his gun. It was a shame really, the man, in his time, had been a good money maker – though recently he’d become _too_ risky with too _much_ money – but was much more a shame, J mused, was that Frosty wasn’t here to clean up the mess.

Instead, J had sent him off with the rest of his crew not on jobs to negotiate with a new dealer who’d set up business down in a prime location by the docks. A good asset if some deal could be reached, a good meal for the monsters of the Gotham waterways if it couldn’t.

But, this particularly body would have to wait for whatever further demise was in store until Johnny-boy returned - or at least one of his men that J trusted to have enough brains to handle dumping a body…

It was gonna have to be Frosty.

“Let’s just hope ol’ Johnny-boy ain’t late again,” J muttered to himself, dropping down into his office chair again, “its gonna start smelling like old Croc-o in here real soon…” He muttered, throwing his gun onto his desk as he kicked his feet up next to it and leant back in his chair, content now to lounge in the joy that was taking care of business.

That bubble of contentment was short lived however, being sharply burst when an all too familiar meow came from directly in front of him. J scowled, gritting his teeth as he reached for his gun again, ready this time to finish the deed before [Y/N] could run to the rescue. He dropped his feet to the floor once more and now leaned his tall, slender frame over the desk towards where, on the other side of the corpse - sat as proudly as always - was the cat, Nyx.

As J’s eyes reached it, the cat dropped something from its mouth, then lightly batted it something with it’s foot, pushing the object forward so it lay alongside the dead body. J’s eyes flickered to it, not dropping his gun.

A mouse, from what J could make out. A dead mouse.

“So…” He turned his head back to the cat, “You’re a killer too, hm?” He mused, raising his eyebrows at the feline. Just then, the mouse seemed to leap back to life and make a run for it, but Nyx was on it in a flash, pinning it beneath her paws. J watched as she then shifted her paws, allowing the mouse to escape, but only a few paces before it was yanked back by where its tail was caught beneath Nyx’s claws. The cat then sat back on her haunches, watching the mouse struggle in front of her, occasionally batting it with her spare paw to keep it running. “Ha!” J snorted, sitting back, letting the gun drop in his hand and resting his chin on his hand, eying the cat with interest, “So you’re a _torturer_ , too?” He grinned widely.

The cat meowed again in answer, now striking lethally at the mouse and then abandoning it where it lay, purposefully over the dead corpse - a complete disregard for the life that had been cut short - to make its way to the desk. J lost sight of Nyx for a moment before she then neatly leapt up onto the surface and then lightly sat down, her eyes constantly on J, her tail swishing, almost like she was appraising him. Nyx suddenly seemed to make her mind then though and, without looking away fro J, she reached out a paw to bat the gun next to her onto the floor.

J erupted into hysterical laughter, falling back in his chair. When he calmed down again he pushed his chair then leant forward, his elbows on his knees so his face was almost level with the cat’s. “I’m afraid that’s not all I have, my sweet…” He drawled with a grin, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pen knife he proceeded to flick open. The cat watched the metal curiously and J allowed it to, twisting the blade between his fingers, the light of the office bouncing off it and reflecting onto the desktop. Nyx caught sight of this immediately, transfixed by the slightly flickering shape and sinking into a crouch, ready to stalk her new prey. She lingered in her predatory stance for a beat or two before she made her move, lithely pouncing onto the circle of light.

J fell into a fit of laughter again at this, his movements causing the beam of light to fly across the room, Nyx jumping after it. The Joker continued to tease the cat for a while - thoroughly amused by the harmless predator - allowing Nyx to pounce on the light, seemingly confident she had got it, only for J to tilt the blade slightly and the light appear frustratingly right next to her. He would then send the light and the cat careening across the room in a wild chase, almost forgetting the corpse on the floor or the reason he’d even been irritated enough to shoot him.

J eventually, almost out of breath from laughing at his taunting, flicked the knife closed and replaced it back in his pocket. Nyx paused, looking almost confused for a moment as she glanced around for the spot of light, then seemed to realise it was gone – for now at least – and turned her sights instead to where J still sat. Within a minute, she was back where she had been before, sat directly in front of the Joker, her eyes still studying his pale face with almost suspicion.

This wasn’t particular what J had wanted however, he’d hoped the cat would almost be annoyed at his antics and leave. He tried to ignore her, not particularly in the mood to skin her anymore, and instead busied himself with a pile of cash that sat by the side of him.

It was clear though, that Nyx had a change of heart towards the clown, only pausing briefly before she now stood up again, lightly treading over the papers that littered J’s desk as she made her way over to J’s hands, butting one of them. J grumbled something under his breath, gently batting her away, though she persisted, sitting back and meowing demandingly at him, gently swatting at the hand that waved at her like it was a game.

“Don’t make me get my knife back out, kitty.” J warned, pulling his hand away, giving up trying to shoo the pest, and instead resting his head back on his hand, turning his body away from the pestering feline.

This didn’t seem perturb Nyx though, who now proceeded to wind herself around his arm, rubbing her body affectionately against his sleeve and letting out a rumbling purr. J lifted his head, looking down at the creature in surprise, not knowing that sound to be produced towards him. Did it – did it like him? It was more insane then he was if it was going to take a shine to the psychotic clown who - at numerous times - had considered multiple fail-safe ways to end the creatures life for good - each just as colourful as the next.

The Joker watched the cat, almost fascinated, as he dangled a hand in front of it experimentally, and Nyx broke away from his arm, purposefully walking under his fingers and arching her back into his touch, letting out another purr at the contact. J let his fingers curl into the soft dark fur and almost warily began to stroke along the creatures back, the action almost… soothing.

* * *

“I ain’t sayin’ is not there! Um sayin’ I didn’ see nothing!” Marz cried angrily.

An eruption of angry protests broke out against this. Marz had failed. He’d been a scout, a gatherer of information -  some might say the most important part of the mission – or at least they did when that person failed.  

And that’s what he had done.

[Y/N] was the only one at the table who wasn’t trying to fight for a place in the conversation, she couldn’t care less, watching the men around her with a thoroughly bored expression, wondering how long J, at the head of the table, would let this pointless shouting go on for before he told them all to shut it. A quick glance at him told her he wasn’t really paying attention, something else on his mind. Maybe it was the rumour of a rat amongst the men.

Just then, [Y/N] jumped slightly as Nyx landed next to her on the table. She gave the cat a warm smile, glad for the company, and began to stroke her absentmindedly, Nyx arching herself into the touch, purring contently, flicking her tail lovingly at [Y/N]’s cheek. But Nyx also seemed distracted, not sitting and instead barely lingering with [Y/N] before she began to stroll leisurely away and down the meeting table in front of all the arguing men, no care for their raised voices.

“’Ey! Someone get rid of the furball.” One of the men grumbled as it walked past him, the quarrelling slowly fading out as everyone became aware of the cat sashaying amongst them. All the men watched the cat in confusion, not sure what to do.

“Boss?” Someone spoke up, looking for instruction as to what to do. J, however, remained silent where he sat watching the scene, his eyes not leaving Nyx as she looked at each man she passed.

Finally, Nyx stopped, then turned to sit directly in front of a short, balding man, staring straight at him unblinking and letting out a single meow. The man looked thoroughly confused, glancing around anxious at his colleagues, not sure what to do now. “B-Boss?” Tarz – Marz’s brother – spoke up, glancing at J, but the Joker still didn’t speak, watching Nyx as her eyes seemed to almost narrow at Tarz, her tail flicking agitatedly. “B-Boss?” Tarz tried again.

“What’s the problem, gentleman…?” J drawled quietly, speaking to the whole table, “Jumpy over a little cat?” He asked, a slow, wide grin now splitting his face, an idea in his mind it seemed. “Or should I say, scaredy cat?” He quipped with a cruel smile.

  
Somewhere in the room there was a click of a gun. [Y/N] opened her mouth to protest, but, before she could, J’s own gun was out on the table. “Anyone shoots the cat…” He purred, glancing around the room at each man, “I shoot them…” He promised sinisterly, and numerous men swallowed nervously, glancing around the room in an attempt to work out who had been brave enough to try to pull a gun on the Joker’s cat. “Good…” The Joker praised after no one drew their gun, “Now if everyone would be so kind as to leave…” He murmured quietly, “I’d like a little chat with Tarz here…” Tarz’s eyes widened at this, but no one tried to help him, all the other chairs pushed backwards as everyone apart from [Y/N] departed the meeting.

“Boss, it’s a cat, whattya thi-“

Tarz fell back in his chair, a hole in his forehead. Nyx stayed where she was momentarily, not at all spooked by the gunshot, almost seemingly to want to ensure the man was truly dead before she got to her feet again. She moved past [Y/N], rubbing affectionately against her again in passing, then continued towards the Joker where she proceeded to drop down into his lap, curling up comfortably. The Joker placed a hand on the dark fur of her bac, stroking without much thought to the action, immediately feeling its comforting effect.

[Y/N] smirked at the sight. “You know, you look like a James bond villain.”

J just scowled at her. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I just kind of have a quick bit of fun with this one - it’s not great, but maybe it’s alright enough? haha


End file.
